I received a lovely email from my sister-in-law, Maggie, about her family’s Memorial Day traditions and stories of her family’s military service. I learned so much and I felt it was worth publishing here. After all, Maggie’s family is our family too, in a related sort of way. Maggie agreed to let me share her story. Thank you, Maggie. Enjoy!

Dear Barb,

So glad you enjoyed the day. Memorial Day was always a big deal in my house growing up. Both my parents had served in WWII.

My dad was active duty prior to the war and was, in fact, stationed in Pearl Harbor when it was bombed. He was getting ready to be discharged; his enlistment was up but instead spent the next 4 years fighting battles in the South Pacific. He had three ships sunk while he was serving, one of which when he was the commander. He received the Bronze Star as a result of his actions that day. His first Commanding Officer after Pearl had been stationed in the Phillipines.  The CO’s wife remained there and was eventually taken prisoner of war for the duration of the war. The war profoundly affected my dad.

Every year he took us to the Memorial Day program where he was always asked to sing the opening Star Spangled Banner. Then we would march in the parade carrying flowers mom had cut from our garden. (usually purple irises). Dad would meet us at the cemetery and show me the graves of his friends where we would put the flowers. It was always very emotional. After he died I was always a little sad on that day hoping some little girl was putting flowers on his grave.

Mom joined the WAC after Pearl Harbor and was in the first group of women in the country to become officers in the WAC. Her stories were much different but she reached the rank of Major and by the end of the war was serving at the Pentagon. Later after my brother, Bill, was born, she was selected by the Governor of the State of Connecticut to serve, as the first woman in the state on the Governor’s Board and as part of his Honor Guard. At the parade on Memorial Day the American Legion Auxiliary always marched. As a little girl I asked my mom why she did not join. She just smiled and told me she did not qualify. When she died she was honored by the Orange, CT  American Legion Post as a member of the American Legion. Bill told me that was why she did not “qualify” for the Legion Auxiliary. She couldn’t march with my dad as part of the Legion because in the 50’s, the women were not invited to march with the men. I think not marching with the Auxiliary was her own quiet protest.

Then Bill joined the Marines during Viet Nam. He served as a Marine Recon officer. They were the guys they dropped out of a helicopter in the jungle and came back 3 weeks later to pick up whoever was left. He experienced a lot of pretty awful things. His life was also profoundly impacted by his experiences. Every year he takes his family to the Veteran’s Day Parade and the Memorial Day Celebrations in Denver. He attends annual reunions with his unit and has made a video of his photographs to the music of the 1960s. Someday if you visit I will show it to you. Watching it is an experience. The guys in the pictures look sooo young.

So, I guess you see why it was so important to Becky to be able serve. When my mom lived with us, Becky would sit and listen to her stories.

At one point during WWII, my grandparents were told my father’s ship had sunk and he had died. They had a Gold Star in their window. A few weeks went by and the dust settled. As soon as my father had the chance, he called them and told them a handful of men had survived and had been rescued. My grandparents changed the colored star in their window back to blue. They said it was the happiest day of their lives.

Enough rambling, glad you enjoyed the day. It means a lot.

Maggie

Any wonder that Maggie married a Navy officer, my brother, Paul?

Note to Matt: I just started reading Cryptonomicon after many years of encouragement from you. Interesting that it is partly set in WWII in the Pacific Ocean theater. Coincidence…. ? there is no such things as coincidence.